• Stop Hating People You Don’t Know

    Is there a relationship between hate and wearing a mask? In this post, I talk about the link between hate and masks, inspired by the Rick Berlin song “How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?” Here’s the fresh philosophy on hate culture:

    “How can I hate people I don’t know?
    Its easy.
    I do it all the time.”

    -Rick Berlin, “How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?”

    “How can I hate people I don’t know?” asks Rick Berlin in his haunting yet homey song of the same name.

    The piece is a meditation on hate infused with heartfelt hollowness and packed with truth-bombs.

    In the music video, the main character goes about daily life wearing a mask. A bunny mask! We follow the protagonist as they drink coffee, walk about town, and seemingly judge people on the street.

    It got me thinking.

    Is there a relationship between hate and wearing a mask?

    Yes. I think there is.

    Listen

    As this post is inspired by the music video and song, “How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?” I highly encourage you to watch it.

    Check out the song and video below to see the inspiration for yourself! ↓

    Music Video: “How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?” by Rick Berlin

    Inspiration

    Together the song and video are an emotional combination that present themes of disconnection, masks, hate, otherness, loneliness, impersonality, sadness, pain, and discord. (Or at least that’s what I felt!)

    Although these aren’t positive topics, I found it truly refreshing to experience these human emotions through a raw lens.

    Inspired (or rather, appropriately downtrodden) by this emotional combination, I’m sharing my philosophy on the relationship between hate and the masks we wear.

    Hate

    First, let’s begin with hate.

    We all know how it feels to be hated.

    When we receive hate, we feel sapped of energy, hurt, drained, attacked, and lesser-than. Hate damages us in a way that lowers our energy state. Hate diminishes our existence.

    We know how to hate too.

    We feel hate emotionally. It is a common human emotion.

    It is also a mental phenomenon. We think hateful words – they can overtake our thoughts.

    Hate is experienced physically too. It can manifest in our actions. These actions range from micro-aggressions to discrimination to hate crime.

    Why everybody try to make other people look bad?

    -Rick Berlin, “How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?”

    All of these aspects of hate (emotional, mental, physical) count as hate. Which is why I argue that hate, at its deepest level, is an energy.

    Hate is an Energy

    Here’s my fresh philosophy on what hate is:

    Hate is an energy.

    Specifically, hate is a negative energy. It is draining in nature.

    We perform hate on a energetic level. We experience the energy of hate within ourselves, then we send it to others.

    The ultimate goal of hate is to stop someone’s existence.

    When you hate someone, you are wishing they weren’t there. You’re trying to remove them from existing in the world as they are.

    When we are hated, we are being told not to exist as we are. Someone else is trying to remove us from existence.

    Whether expressed mentally, emotionally, physically or all three, hate is a negative, draining, harmful energy at its core.

    We Hate Masks Not People

    Now I want to go deeper.

    Because I don’t think we really hate other people. We hate masks.

    Here’s how it works:

    1. We put masks upon others.
    2. We hate the mask.
    3. When we hate, we do it from behind our own mask.
    4. The mask of hate protects us.

    Let me explain:

    How-Can-I-Hate-People-I-Dont-Know-Mask-Hands-Fresh-Philosopher

    1. Masking Others

    Groups of people with a particular identity are often involved in receiving hate.

    These “groups of people” are our social categories. And these categories are well known to us.

    What all social categories have in common is that they take place in our mind.

    A social category is just that – a CATEGORY.

    A category is a mental structure that identifies a group of things and links it with particular traits.

    So – a social category is a mental structure that identifies a group of people and links it with particular traits.

    Here’s an example of how social category labeling works:

    • Start with the social category “blogger”
    • When someone attaches the category “blogger” to me, they label me as a blogger
    • This means they link the word “blogger” with me, along with all of the other “blogger” traits they know
    • When that person sees me, they see a blogger
    • In their mind, I wear the mask of a blogger

    For a more in-depth look at social categorization, this article has a great in-depth look at the term and a summary of research on the topic!

    We, as perceivers, place masks upon others.

    2. Hating the Mask

    When we hate someone, we don’t really hate them. Instead, we hate the social category we’ve placed them in. We hate the mask.

    For example, do you hate that blogger? Or do you hate bloggers in general? Do you hate that cyclist? Or do you hate cyclists in general? Do you hate that category member? Or do you hate that category in general?

    Hate is something we direct towards individuals who activate social categories in our mind.

    We don’t hate people. We hate masks.

    3. Wearing the Mask of Hate

    The link between hate and masks doesn’t stop there.

    Hate itself is a mask.

    That is, hate is not an authentic emotion. It is a mask for a deeper emotion.

    The idea, stemming from clinical psychology, is that hate is a secondary emotion. It is a shield we put up after experiencing another negative emotion. Such as pain. Such as fear.

    For more, here’s an article describing the idea of anger as a secondary emotion.

    Once someone hurt us. And to prevent them from hurting us again, we got angry. We began hating them.

    Them, and everyone else like them. Everyone in that category.

    Hating people protects us. Or at least our damaged psyche thinks so.

    Thus, hate itself is a mask emotion. It masks what we really feel.

    4. Hating for Protection

    Every time we hate, we put up a shield. That shield protects us from re-experiencing pain, fear and other negative emotions. It does that by preventing us from getting close to the world.

    For example, perhaps a blogger discusses a bad habit you often do. And it hurts you to realize that your behavior is harmful to yourself. So to prevent such painful information from reaching you again, you begin hating that blogger and all bloggers. You use hate to prevent that type of information from reaching you again. You use hate to prevent yourself from having a similar negative experience. In this way you protect yourself.

    Hate is a tool to keep people out. Hate is a tool to keep things “other.”

    But why do we need to keep people out? Why do we need to keep things “other?” To protect ourselves from re-triggering and re-experiencing pain.

    Behind the mask of hate you’ll find pain and fear.

    What’s Behind Our Own Mask?

    So, hate is an emotion of masks.

    For all the reasons discussed above, I think Rick Berlin’s choice of a mask in the visual metaphor for hate was fitting and genius.

    In summary, inspired by the song “How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?” here are links I’ve found between masks and hate:

    • We put masks on others. These are social categories
    • We put masks on ourselves. These protect us from feeling our own negative emotions
    • We hate the masks we see on others from behind our own mask.
    • Hate’s energy comes from behind the mask of someone who is in distress
    • When we use hate we create more distress, more pain, more fear, more masks, and more hate
    How-Can-I-Hate-People-I-Dont-Know-Title-Fresh-Philosopher

    So… How Can I Hate People I Don’t Know?

    To answer Rick Berlin’s question, “How can I hate people I don’t know?” here is what I say:

    We can hate people we don’t know by turning them into something we do know. Something we hate. We know categories. And we hate people in categories. When we apply category labels to strangers, we suddenly know them and can hate them.

    The truth is, however, we still don’t know people, even when we categorize them. We don’t hate the real person. We just hate their mask. The one we put on their face.

    Second, to answer Rick Berlin’s question “Why?” in the song, here is what I say:

    We hate people because we’re protecting ourselves. We’re shielding ourselves from new experiences that might be negative, painful, or scary. Hate is a defensive emotion. It is an energy that seeks to drain the life out of someone else because the life has already been drained out of us. And rather than take back our own energy, or heal ourselves, we choose to suck the energy out of others.

    Enough.

    Time to remove the masks.

    Time to Heal

    Underneath hate is always something else.

    Underneath hate is the real you. The real me. Experiencing a deeper emotion.

    It is time for us to face what is beneath our own mask.

    We may find pain. We may find fear. That is okay. That is normal.

    Allow yourself to a quiet moment to re-experience pain you’ve been avoiding. Let it come up. Then let it go. Release it.

    There is a freedom that comes with facing your own negative emotions.

    Let your own mask come off.

    To learn more about re-experiencing negative memories safely, you might like this Fresh Philosopher video and post!

    It is also time for us as a collective to release the need to label, categorize, mask, and hate others. It is time for us to allow others to be as they are.

    There is a freedom that comes with releasing your unconscious labels.

    Let us remove the masks we’ve placed on others.

    When we do this work, we begin to express our authentic selves again. Without a mask. And that inspires others to do the same.

    Together, we can begin to heal ourselves.

    Together, we can begin to love people we don’t know.

    I believe in you. I love you.

    Sincerely,

    Erienne
    Dr. Erienne Weine

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  • Be Authentic

    We all know when somebody around us is being fake. Why can’t they just be real? It usually drives me CRAZY. What about you? Society dictates I should respond to their external personality, even though I KNOW that isn’t the whole story. Blurg 🙂
    On the other hand, we can also tell when someone is “being real.” It means they are being their true self around others. Telling their truth, like it is – and holding nothing back. Sometimes it can be a bit much to handle – like they’re shining too brightly compared to everyone else’s current state.
    I think of “being real” and “being fake” as two polar opposites on a spectrum. At any given time, each one of us falls somewhere on the scale.
    But is it always the RIGHT TIME to be 100% real? Probably not. For example, it may not always be appropriate, or kind, or relevant. Hard as it is for me to admit, putting on a fake persona may be the right way to go (sometimes).
    Or is it?

    Learning to Be Real: A Little Story

    Recently I spoke on a panel. I was very excited and wanted to do my best.During the event, a touchy subject came up – people reporting mental health struggles. I could JUST TELL that the person running the panel wanted us to skip the topic. Because it wasn’t pleasant, and therefore not appropriate. At that moment, I was faced with a choice: Move along or plunge into a sticky subject.KNOWING ME, CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I DID?I took the plunge.I said aloud that YES that is an actual real issue. Not only is it real, but there were real resources on how to deal with it, and I shared those resources with the audience.As soon as I stopped talking, all of my doubt and guilty feelings started to roll in. I started wondering whether that was the right thing to do. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Did I do the wrong thing? Was the whole world going to explode now? At the end of the panel, I found out.Afterward, I chatted with a few people who said “thank you for speaking!” They had learned a lot from me. That felt great to me. And you know what? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SAID I WAS OUT OF LINE. Or that I had brought up an inappropriate topic. Not even the panel coordinator. In fact, it seemed a completely natural part of the discussion.Sooo… something I thought might lead to planetary explosion had no negative impact at all? Yep. That’s right. In fact, the judgment I felt from the panel coordinator was probably all in my head…. whoa.

    A woman poses confidently

    People resonate with the real you

    Nobody is convinced that everything is perfect. When you are real, and talk about real life as you see it, people resonate with that.I’m not talking about the standard exchange we all know so well: “How are you?” “Fine and you?” “Good!” exchange you have with your grocery clerk. (Would things really be so weird if you said, “I’m craving sweet potatoes tonight, isn’t that funny?” Hmm.. I wonder what they would say back? Why don’t you try it and see how it goes?)But even more, I’m talking about the deeper interactions we have with those around us. My speaking experience really opened my eyes to how positively people respond to honesty. Kind honesty about your own personal experience. And that is pretty powerful. 🙂

    A woman prepares to take a leap!

    The right time to be real is…

    All of the time! Around your bffs, at the grocery store, in front of a panel, and in your pajamas. All good, legit times to be real.Give it a try! “Being real” might help you remove the burden of portraying a perfectly fake version of yourself, which is a big burden indeed. And it also creates an example for others of how awesome it is to be yourself. You never know who else is watching, struggling with whether they should be real too.

    Sincerely, Erienne Dr. Erienne WeineFresh Philosopher signature


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  • Be Confident

    So.. it is time for you to talk. As in, speak. Like a regular person. Amongst a group of your fellow humans! But you can’t! Your confidence has abandoned you.

    Has this ever been you? Because this has been me legitimately 1,000 times.

    Basically, I would turn into a puddle around random groups of people. Although I might have been JUST FINE 5 minutes ago, I get thrust into an unexpected conversation and start freaking out. I wouldn’t even be sure what I was saying! The world swirled around me. So, I blurted something out… then ran away!

    I’d leave wondering, “What on earth did I just say?” (Hmm… I wonder why?)

    From a psychological perspective, here’s what I think is going on, and how to cure it.

    Inhibition Takeover

    In my opinion, the problem is inhibition overload. Inhibition is a type of activity in your nervous system that tells your body to stop, don’t act, hold back, and wait. It is actually great to have this ability. It allows you do things like NOT walk out in traffic.

    But… Sometimes this system gets a bit too uppity. Perhaps it thinks it is protecting me against unknown threats! But actually, it is “protecting” me from me having any confidence whatsoever. (Great, thanks so much nervous system! I’ll just sit here in fear…)

    The Problem with Too Much Inhibition

    The real problem with this situation is that I’m awesome!

    I’m actually cool. I have interesting things to say. I have original thoughts and a baller personality. One day I decided that it was totally wrong to keep my awesome self locked up in some overwrought nervous system battle. So, I decided to figure out how to calm this beast down. And I did. 🙂 I found some fixes for all of this INNER WEIRDNESS. And I’m going to share them with you!

    THE KEY: The key boils down to this – override your inhibition.

    How? Use some activation. Action. Movement. Breath. Activity. Even a tiny bit helps! Do small things that send signals to your body that EXTREME INHIBITION IS NOT NECESSARY. It is actually safe to talk (and even have coherent thoughts – amazing!).

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    10 Hacks for High Confidence Around Others:

    1. BREATHE

    My biggest tip is to breathe DELIBERATELY. If you’re freaking out, take an actual deep breath. Let it out slowly. This always helps me stabilize and climb out of fight-or-flight mode. (And you know I want to flee!)

    If you’re making a long talking point, take normal breaths rather than speaking non-stop. NOBODY NOTICES YOU BREATHING. You might think, “I have to keep talking or people will lose interest!” Actually, people don’t even notice and just breathe with you. You’re creating a natural break point in the information stream for them to process what you just said. And that makes you even more effective at communicating. 🙂

    PSYCHOLOGY JEDI MASTER TRICK: Sometimes people are just trying to “win” a conversation. Ugh. You know – when a conversation seems out of control and you cannot get a word in? Here’s what to do – Start breathing a bit loudly at a slower rate than the conversation. You’ll influence the vibe on a subconscious level. Then when you take your chance to chime in, keep your voice on that more positive, slow vibe. You’ll successfully share what you have to say in a non-competitive way. And may even change the tone of the whole convo from competition to collaboration. Yoda will be proud.

    2. GESTURE

    Unleash the power of your arms and gesture baby! Use your hands and arms to communicate. You can gesture to jump into a conversation or simply add some flavor to what you say. The point is, gestures are natural. And gestures are a real source of linguistic information. We all have gestures that are unique to us. By using them, you’ll help yourself loosen up, convey more of who you really are, and SAY MORE than non-gesturers. What a nice triple-benefit. 🙂

    3. LISTEN

    As an antidote to overthinking what you’re about to say, how you look, etc. try deep listening. Deep listening is simply when you pay close, careful attention to someone while they’re talking. Really let the meaning sink in that they’re TRYING to convey, rather than their exact words. This is a great way to read people. Is this person trying to say they’re afraid? Confused? Enthusiastic? Angry? Bored? Broke? Amused? Nervous?

    Then follow up with people’s comments by asking them a question that gets them to clarify or expand. This takes the focus off you and helps you actually connect with another person. Imagine a time when someone truly listened to you. How good did that feel? You can do this for someone else. 🙂

    4. MAKE EYE CONTACT

    Make meaningful eye contact with others as you speak and listen. I mean, it is not like you’re talking with your eyes closed! Are you? Or is your gaze doing something else? So carefully remove your eyes from your shoes, the distant background, or anywhere else that might feel comfortable to look (but actually just makes you look distracted). and look into the eyes of the people around you. You’ll automatically feel more confident by doing this. Why? Because it is actually brave.

    EYEBROW HACK: Hahahaha. Okay so I’m laughing because SO MANY TIMES I’ve avoided eye contact because it just FEELS TOO INTIMATE. Like ahhhh. Some people’s eyes are so too pretty, and I get lost! (Now you can see why I’m laughing.) Sooo… Try looking at people’s eyebrows instead. Hey it works! It is less soul-examining than direct eye contact. But it still makes people feel special that you’re paying attention to them. And if they catch you, you can blame me and send them this article (loooooks like you slipped into the DMs of that beautiful person!). 😉

    A woman poses confidently

    5. OCCUPY SPACE

    To increase your confidence, allow yourself to take up space around you a bit more. You know the guy on the train who sits with his arms spread out, taking up 2 extra seats, his backpack in one seat, coat in another, looking like he’s lounging in his living room? CHANNEL THAT GUY. Move around. Put your hands on your hips. Take the conversation for a walk. Just by allowing your body to EXIST in the space it is in you’ll unlock some major confidence.

    6. STAND UP STRAIGHT

    Your mother was right. Please see her for further information.

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    7. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO CONVEY

    You know when you see a super confident person talking? And you just are so amazed by their self-possession and clarity? Me too! The most confident thing I ever see others do is to have one point, make it, and stand behind it. It makes people just seem so POWERFUL, so self sure, and I feel inspired. So I’ve copied them.

    Figure out just one thing that you want to say and stick to making that point. Hey, its what confident people do!

    The best part? You don’t have to stand by that point forever. Consider the time-honored tradition of debate. The goal is to learn something greater by taking strong stances and exploring them. The re-examining. So give this age-old tradition a try and stand for just one thing, if only for awhile.

    You might also enjoy my post: How to Overcome the #1 Public Speaking Myth!

    8. SET A CONVERSATIONAL TONE

    Accept yourself first and others will too. Rather than letting your fears take over, try assuming that everyone is going to understand you. And accept you. Try assuming that everyone will think you’ve made a great point. Assume that when they respond with some random tangent, they’re really saying, “Great point! I’d like to add to that by mentioning..”

    Just adopting this perspective, I suddenly lose so many worries. I no longer worry about being understood, accepted, attacked, or the million other things my inhibition brain comes up with. Instead, I can allow others to make their points. I know I can always come back to mine. By adopting a spirit of collaboration, you gain confidence that comes from within. 🙂 The best kind!

    You might also like my video: 5 Mental Hacks to Stop Caring What People Think!

    A woman does a karate kick in an all-black outfit against a wood grain background. Pow9. USE SHORTER PHRASES

    Got something to say? See if you can say it in 8 words or fewer. Boom! This is powerful. As your friendly cognitive scientist, let me tell you that by your 18th rambling sentence, people have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about anymore. Or they 100% get it and they’re just waiting for you to stop talking.

    By having the gumption to say what you mean succinctly, you’ll automatically increase your own confidence in yourself. And from a nervous system standpoint, A few words is just a small thing, compared to a monologue. So blurting out a short thing is a great way to break the inhibition cycle and get comfortable existing around other humans.

    10. USE DOWNSPEAK (AVOID UPSPEAK)

    Ah! This is some high-level ish! Upspeak is the sound you naturally make when asking a question. When you say, “Did you get almond milk?” your voice goes up at the end. Yet we might do this at the end of non-question sentences. Like this: “Yeah, it was on sale?”  But you meant, “Yeah, it was on sale.”

    Upspeak can make us feel unsure. Why? Because the tone, or prosodic information, mismatches the word meaning.

    If you ever catch yourself doing this – just purposely try ending some statements with a lower tone. Or downspeak. They key here is SOME. You don’t have to eliminate all upspeak! Actually, that might be a characteristic of your voice. And that’s a cool, good thing. So if your confidence is wavering, I say throw a few low tones into the ends of your sentences, and see how it feels. 🙂

    Go Forth and Exude Confidence!

    You are a very worthwhile human being and have every right to unearth your natural confidence. So allow your awesome self to shine. I’m so proud of you.

    →Now that you know my tricks, I want to know yours! Connect with me on my Facebook or Instagram and share your own hacks. ♥

    Sincerely,
    Erienne
    Dr. Erienne Weine

     

     

     


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  • Listen to Your Intuition

    Mystical pursuits are cool because they can help you listen to your intuition, cultivate mental health, and reach higher levels of consciousness.

    Here I provide a brief introduction to 3 tools to listen to your intuition. Then I show you the rockstars who are creating must-see content in this exciting realm. Enjoy!

     
    Moon in a misty sky: Introduction to mystical pursuits 2018

    Moon Sign & Rising Sign

    Horoscope Popularity

    Horoscopes have become incredibly popular in the last few years. Have you noticed too? In addition to seeing constellations and words like “Capricorn” and “Gemini”  printed on everything from shirts to plates, I think this trend of astrological exploration is going to continue to expand. Here are a few such avenues, along with some great resources for learning about each.

    I bet you know your “sign.” Awesome! Well, there is so much more the zodiac can help you understand about yourself (and it’s amazing)!

     
     
    Moon sign

    Your moon sign is where the moon was when you were born. Knowing the sign of your moon is just like knowing your type of subconsciousness. It helps you listen to your intuition by understanding how it communicates. Check out your moon sign to gain insight into how you mentally process things, how you deal with past hurts, your relationship to your dreams, and how you choose to use your intuition. It is pretty cool!

    Here are a few astrologers dedicated to the craft of communicating the planets’ effect on us, whose predictions are spot-on.

     
    Chani Nicholas

    Omg. She’s JUST. SO. GOOD! Chani explains why reading your rising sign is super helpful. She offers WOKE horoscopes touching on current political and social issues. And she makes her own imagery (which is AMAZING). Hop on her newsletter and regret it never.

     
    The Astrotwins

    Literally, twins who read horoscopes. They are hilarious. And comprehensive. I have their app, which offers daily, weekly, and monthly horoscopes. But they also have so many amazingly revealing articles on their site. These two also love to cover unconventional horoscope topics (such as fashion, hair, and wellness trends). Check out their amazing and prolific perspective.

    Mystical Pursuit: Tarot. Image of tarot card from StarchildtarotTarot

    What is Tarot?

    This is a fun predictive card game that helps you listen to your intuition. Each card has a life theme on it. You ask an open-ended question, draw a card using your intuition, then look up the meaning of your card for some insight. I find it a stress-free way of gaining new perspectives on issues in my life that are foggy. Its one of the mystical pursuits that anyone can do, because there’s always an instruction manual to help you interpret the cards.

    Fun ways to Tarot
    • Gift yourself a deck
    • Get a professional reading
    • Draw one Tarot card for yourself every day
    • Incorporate Tarot into your next bff gathering
    The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck

    Created by Kim Krans, this is a super-inspiring deck by an intuitive artist. Each card is a work of art. And the simple but powerful card explanations will make you want to read Tarot all night long.

    The Starchild Tarot


    These cards are a visual sonnet. Seriously breathtaking. Do your eyes a favor and peek at Danielle Noel’s beyond-gorgeous cards.

    Palm reading: The basics by Lauren Conrad. Click the image to visit her site!

    Palm Reading

     

    Ever had your palm read?  Most professional readers will give you lots of insightful information about yourself and your life. This may be a year you decide to get a palm reading just for fun!

     

    Learn to listen to your intuiton by learning to read your own palm. Here are the 3 basic lines.

     
    Love line
    The most popular of lines for a reason, your love line stretches from underneath your pinkie finger over toward your pointer and middle fingers. My favorite thing to read on the love line? Which finger does it point to?
    Middle finger: You tend to care most about making the other person happy in the relationship.
    Pointer finger: You don’t see the point of relationships that don’t bring you joy.

    Line split or in the middle: You’re flexible.

     
    Head Line

    The line of mental strength, stability, and change. The beginning of your life starts under your pointer finger, then moves toward the side of your hand (under the pinkie). Most head lines extend to underneath the ring finger, which is toward your later life years. Check out variations in depth. This helps show when you get most interested in mental activities in your life. You can also track lines off-shooting from your head line to other lines to see things you might be thinking about!

     
    Life Line
    This one wraps widely around your thumb! Excitingly, this line won’t tell you how long you’ll live. Sigh. Rather, it indicates the quality of your life. (Deeper is higher quality, more balanced.) The beginning of life is in between your thumb and pointer finger, and the line extends in time down toward your wrist.
     

    There you go! You’re a beginner palm reader!

     
    Palm reading for beginners


    Lauren Conrad has an excellent article on palm reading for beginners. If this piques your interest a little, I invite you to check it out!

    As with all mystical pursuits, there is a lot of variety in interpretation. Everyone agrees about the basics. But the deeper interpretation is in the mind of the beholder. So, if you’re reading your own palm, then go with what feels right in your gut. Discard what feels fake.

    The ultimate guide to palmistry


     
    For palm reading, the only thing I truly trust is what I call THE TEXTBOOK (because it is 500+ pages and written by two lifetime professional palm readers). The Art and Science of Hand Reading by Ellen Goldberg and Dorian Bergen was just published in 2016 and I’m obsessed.

     

    Listen to your intuition: Be a little mystical!

    So go ahead and try something here that resonates with you! I hope you find some inspiration in your own mystical pursuits.

    Lots of Celestial Love,

    Erienne
    Dr. Erienne Weine

     


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    Tarot, Palm Reading, & Moon Signs for Beginners, Large Pinterest Image

     

    Take the Consciousness Challenge

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    Raise your Consciousness in 7 Days:
    Take the (free) Consciousness Challenge!

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  • Stop Caring What People Think

    VIDEO: Have you ever wished you could just stop caring what people think?

    Here are 5 MIND HACKS that are absolutely essential if you want to stop caring what other people think of you, asap.

    In short:

    1. People’s snapshot of you is TINY! You’re not on their mind for very long.
    2. Imagine having a conversation. Suddenly everyone seems like a potential friend.
    3. Sing an “I don’t care” song in your head. (“I don’t give a… “)
    4. Realize people only see their concept of you. They don’t really know you.
    5. Realize you’re only worried about your concept of other people. You create that concept and you have control over it.

    Ultimately, what really matters is what YOU THINK of you. ♥

    Thanks for watching!

    For more Fresh Philosopher videos, check out my YouTube Channel! Thank you for subscribing!

    Much love!

    Erienne
    Dr. Erienne Weine

     

     


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    Take the Consciousness Challenge

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    Raise your Consciousness in 7 Days:
    Take the (free) Consciousness Challenge!

    Download the Worksheet to Begin ↓

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  • Overcome Public Speaking Fear

    I don’t care what you call it, public speaking is just one person (you) talking to other people (the audience) about something you know (your topic).

    Sounds simple right?

    Well leave it to us humans to make things complicated!

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    I’ve spent tons of time freaking out. Judging myself. Predicting the terrible. Worrying that no one will care what I have to say. And worst of all, believing that I need to know every single little thing about my field (for example the entire freaking field of cognitive psychology) before I could even allow myself to speak.

    Now that is a whole lot of fear and anxiety! Especially for something that will take, maximum, 1 hour of my life? And probably less.

    Freaking out is very a human thing to do. But that freaking out is ultimately coming from a lie that we believe deep down.

    Below I’m going to dispel the #1 myth about speaking that can paralyze speakers everywhere.

    The #1 Speaking Myth:
    You need to convince your audience that you’re an authority

    OMG. This is the worst. feeling. ever.

    The feeling of being an imposter.

    It is where you feel like you’re not a real -fill in the blank.

    Everyone is going to find out!

    Then they will laugh at you!

    A series of unfortunate events will be triggered!

    Then your life will be over!

    Anyone? No? Just me?

    But they Already See You As An Authority

    And here’s why:

    Being a speaker is a template in each audience member’s mind. You’re just sliding into it. People already know what to expect.

    You don’t have to reinvent anything. You don’t have to prove that you’re a worthy person to talk. And you don’t have to command authority to force people to listen to you.

    Here’s How to Get Over It

    Realize that your role as a speaker is a template for those watching you.

    In their mind, they already have an idea of what a talk is like.

    They already know what a professor does. Or a guest speaker. And a business pitch presenter. Your classmates and teacher already know what to expect from a student presentation.

    They’re already prepared to:

    Sit their butt down. Listen. Take notes. And view you as someone who knows what they’re talking about.

    You don’t have to make this happen because the template does it for you.

    So all you have to do is step into that template. The template of a speaker!

    Yes. You Fulfill the Speaker’s Template

    A template is a group of connected ideas in our mind.

    That means a template is a set of ideas about how something generally goes.

    Like, “making dinner.” You have a template for that.

    When you think, “I’m going to make dinner!” do you ever also think, “Ah how can I convince my family or roommates to eat food I’ve made in the evening (then help me do the dishes)?”

    Absolutely not.

    You just do the thing you know about.

    First, you chop up the veggies, make the food, and spread the word that its time to eat. And other people do the thing they know about (which is to eat your food and avoid the dishes).

    This means you have a template for making dinner and sharing it. You have a template for dishes. For grocery shopping. For watching a presentation. And for hearing a lecture.

    The situation itself will guide you into acting in line with what you know. You’ll automatically just go stand up there, say things, maybe point to some visuals, and end with “any questions?” Followed by smiling and looking at the audience.

    This is true for your audience too. They’ll listen to you meaningfully because that’s what hearing a talk is like.

    You Got This!

    So take a deep breath, and go slide into the template of a speaker.

    You’ll do this just be standing and speaking. Easy!

    Good luck. 🙂

    Sincerely,
    Erienne
    Dr. Erienne Weine

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    Take the Consciousness Challenge!

    Sidebar-Mental-Wellness-Woman-nature-map-wayfinding-redhair

    Raise your Consciousness in 7 Days:
    Take the (free) Consciousness Challenge!

    Download the Worksheet to Begin ↓

    LEARN MORE

    DISCLOSURE:
    Downloading the worksheet will also subscribe you to receive fresh content emails from Fresh Philosopher. Your information is protected + you can unsubscribe at any time. Thank you for trusting me with your inbox!