Crying Recovery Hacks

I just cried.

Like, a lot…

And I might cry again!

Any second now… here it comes… watch out!

What is going on??? That’s right! You guessed it! I’m having a crying jag. And all I want to do is stop crying.

What do I mean by a “Crying Jag?”

Oh, a crying jag is a lovely emotional state. Also known as bawling, weeping, sobbing, blubbering, wailing, grieving, crying, or mourning.

Familiar with the sensation?

I like to describe it as crying my eyes out. Because I seriously think they might pop out out of my head. It is that serious.

You know the drill. Once you get started, you practically can’t stop. The tears keep flowing. I personally make pitiful sounds that never end – boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. My face begins to resemble a ripe tomato. Nerves get all twitchy. Breathing is rapid and gasp-y. And everything and anything seems to make me cry more!

My ability to function? That’s gone. The feels have taken over!

Here’s how I make it stop.

Luckily, I know a few tricks. Just like How I Cure Migraine Pain Naturally, I have a painkiller-free plan that works: A way to get myself out of this particularly deep state of languishing. Yup, I have figured out how to stop crying (thank goodness!).

Here is how I return to a more normal, comfortable state of breathing, thinking, seeing, talking, and overall facial complexion.

(Because at this point, I’m crying about the fact that I’m crying. FML.):

Stop Crying Step #1: Drink Peppermint Tea

Omg have you tried this??

Peppermint tea will un-swell your face lightning quick.

Peppermint tea is able to do this because it is anti-inflammatory. Drinking something anti-inflammatory will physically counteract your inflammation reflex. This is the reflex that makes you puffy, swollen, red, constricted, and achy. It makes me feel like my blood is pounding in my head, face, eyes, pillow, etc.

As soon as you realize you’re in stuck in a crying loop, do the following:

  1. Fill a tea kettle with water and set it to boil.
  2. Pick your favorite mug or teapot.
  3. Open up a bag of peppermint tea. Smell it, if your nostrils will allow. It is lovely: somehow soothing and sharp at the same time! Ahh.
  4. Place the tea bag in mug or teapot. Top with boiling water.
  5. Sit down with your face over the cup so the steam flows onto your distraught visage.
  6. Wait 5 mins. Take some slow deep breaths of the steam.
  7. Remove the bag. Your tea is now ready to enjoy!
  8. Take a sip. Adjust the temp. If the tea is too hot to drink, add a splash of cold water or an ice cube.
  9. Drink it slow and feel your swelling go down, breathing stabilize, nostrils open, and redness dissipate!
  10. Sit in awe of this wonderful drink.

Seriously effing amazing.

TIPS:

  1. Here’s my current favorite Peppermint Tea.
  2. Peppermint tea is lovely with any type of milk.
  3. Any anti-inflammatory tea will do. I’m also a big fan of turmeric tea with honey, lemon, and black pepper.

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 Stop Crying Step #2: Lightly Stretch your Body

You probably don’t want to move. But you wouldn’t you like to stop crying and feel human again? This helps a lot and works AMAZINGLY well.

  1. Stand up
  2. Stretch your neck
  3. Roll your shoulders
  4. Arch your back all around
  5. Grab one foot at a time for a nice thigh stretch.
  6. Lunge to get your calves.
  7. Roll each foot in a circle – clockwise and counter-clockwise.
  8. Stretch or massage anything else that feels good!

Voila! Now you’re standing, and even have control of your body. Aw, look at you! 🙂

Stop Crying Step #3: Move your (newly stretched) Body

For me, nothing resets me from crying my effing eyes out like getting my blood pumping.

Working out stops the crying wheel because you’re giving your body new bio-feedback.

You’re actually creating new signals to your body that say: “Hey! Time to regulate a different system!”

For real, I’ll do this even if I’m still crying like boo hoo hoo hoo. And by the time I’m done, I feel so much better.

Some options:

  1. Pick a short workout video on youtube. Jump around to a flamboyant dance routine, get your pilates on, or see how many situps you can do.
  2. Go walk around the block. The fresh air, new sights, and rhythm of your body will all transport you to another set of feels.
  3. Do some cardio, like run or ride your bike. Hey, if you expend your energy exercising, maybe you won’t have any left over for crying. (?)

Best part? Now you can feel good that you exercised. Yes, this counts as exercise. And under tough conditions, too!

You’re a major boss.

Stop Crying Step #4: Do your Favorite Thing

Okay, now that you’ve taken a bit of advice from me, it is time to follow your own too.

What do you usually do to help yourself feel better? What is it?

Do a bit of that. Go to sleep. Read a book. Eat some ice cream. Or binge watch that one show. Maybe you get some weird joy from organizing your spice cabinet, or throwing empty cans at a wall?

Whatever it is, just do it. You’ll feel better.

Obviously, I’m not judging. ?

(Please try not to end up in jail tho. Or run up a huge bill. Or hurt yourself. You know what I mean. Oh, you won’t do those things? Okay, thanks yay!)

It won’t last forever

It won’t last forever. And then we’ll laugh about it together. I’m so proud of you. Good luck and breathe. You got this.?

 

Much love,

Erienne

Fresh Philosopher

 

 

 

 

Share this post with your fellow cryers. 🙂

Messed up gift idea: Gift a friend Peppermint Tea. If you happen to show up at their door weeping, they’ll have a cure. ;P


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